- How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. They think the world revolves aroun them.
- Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
- Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
- What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
- Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?
More head room!
- Why don't blondes eat pickles?
a. Because they get their heads stuck in the jar.
b. Because the jars have lids, not zippers.
- Why do blondes wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.
- What do blondes say after making love?
"Are you boys all on the same team?"
- How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
- What do blondes and turtles have in common?
Once on their back, they're screwed.
- What's the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm drunk!"
- What's the mating call of a brunette?
"Has the blonde gone home yet?"
- Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you wash vegtables.
- Why does the blonde have T.G.I.F. written on her tennis shoes?
Toes Go In First.
- What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
- How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear.
- How do you get a blondes eyes to sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
- What do you call a zit on a blondes butt?
A brain tumor.
- What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in a handicapped zone.
- How do you make a blonde laugh on a Monday morning?
Tell her the joke on Friday afternoon.
- If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a 20-story building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette. The blond would stop and ask for directions.
- How can you tell that a blondes has had a bad day?
She has a tampon behind her ear, and she doesn't know what she did with her pencil.
- What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
"Way to go team!"
- How can you tell if a blonde owns a vibrator?
- Why did the blonde have square breasts?
She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
- How can you tell that a blondes been using your computer?
There's White-out all over the screen.
- Why do blondes have so much free time?
Because so little is expected of them.
- What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
- How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three. One to mix the batter, two to peel the M&Ms.
- How do you drive a blonde insane?
Ask her to alphabetize your M&Ms.
- How do you keep a blonde baby amused?
Give her a mirror and some makeup.
- What do you call a blonde wearing a brunette wig?
- What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on top of her head?
All you can eat for under a buck.
- Why is it so difficult for a blonde to get a driver's license?
They can't reach the pedals from the back seat.
- How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They only screw in cars.
- What's the difference between a blonde and a Ferrari?
You can usually find a guy who hasn't been in a Ferrari.
- What do you call three blondes standing shoulder to shoulder, ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
- What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
She goes home.
- Why did God give blondes one more brain cell than a horse?
So when they're waving in a parade, they won't crap in the street.
- How do you tell if a bleached blonde did your landscaping?
The bush in front is a different color than the other follage.
- What did the blonde have tatooed on her inner thigh?
a. "Welcome home, USS Saratoga."
b. "Welcome home, troops of Desert Storm."
- What's the similarity between a blonde and a plate of Jello?
They both quiver when you eat them.
- What do you call a blonde with a PhD in nuclear engineering?
- How does a blonde know that she's slept with an elephant?
a. The smell of peanuts on his breath,
b. She's pregnant for 23 months, and
c. The big 'E' on his pajamas.
- What's the best way to murder a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of the swimming pool.
- What's the diference between blondes and whores?
a. Blondes have more money
b. Blondes skirts are shorter
c. Blondes wiggle more when they walk.
- What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette whore?
The color of her hair.
- Did you hear about the blonde that liked younger men?
She started sleeping with Cub Scouts, but her doctor made her quit when she got up to three Packs a day.
- Blondes put perfume behind their ears. What do brunettes have to put behind their ears to attract men?
- Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Her boy friend was blonde too.
- Is it true that blondes have more fun?
No, but their boy friends do!
- What do you call fifteen blondes standing in a circle?
A dope ring.
- If Tarzan and Jane were blondes, what would Cheetah be?
The smartest of the three.
- What would have happened if Pee Wee Herman were blond?
He would have had somethng better in his hand.
- What would the press have called Jeffery Dahmer, if he were blonde?
That silly psychopathic murderer.
- Why is it so hard to teach a blonde to drive?
a. They keep getting in the back seat, or
b. they think the steering wheel's a clothes rack.