about | contact | disclaimer | home   

S.KRAUSE

Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road ...
C Chicken:
Crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken:
Doesn't have to cross the road; you simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Delphi Chicken:
Is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
G3-300 MHz Chicken:
Crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken.
Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken:
Crossed 4.9999947 times.
Iomega Chicken:
Should have backed up before crossing.
Java Chicken:
The server will download a chicklet to the other side.
Lotus Chicken:
Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
Microsoft(tm) Chicken:
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
NT Chicken:
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OOP Chicken:
Doesn't need to cross the road; it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken:
Crossed the road in style years ago, but was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VisualBasic Chicken:
USHighways! (aChicken)
Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
Windows 95 Chicken:
You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
Windows 98 Chicken:
As expected, caused a crash while crossing.