- Jam 29 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
- Use your Mastercard to pay your VISA.
- Close all loans with conditions outstanding remaining.
- When someone tells you to "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
- Forget Weight Watchers and send yourself a Candy gram.
- Make a list of "things to do" that you've already done.
- Dance naked in front of your dog.
- Put on your child's clothes backwards, and send him or her off to school as if nothing were wrong.
- Retaliate your tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
- Order mortgage insurance on the day of closing.
- Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
- Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go shopping, buy everything, sweat in it, and return it the next day.
- Buy a year's subscription to Sleazoid Weekly and send it to your manager's spouse.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of The Flintstones during that important meeting.
- Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a frozen steel guardrail.
- Polish your car with earwax.
- Read the dictionary upside down, and look for secret messages.
- Start a nasty rumor, and see if you can recognize it when it gets back to you.
- Bill you doctor for the time you spent in his or her waiting room.
- Write a short story using alphabet soup.
- Lie on your back eating celery, using your belly button as a salt dipper.
- Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
- Make up a language, and then ask people for directions.
- Walk your kids to school, talk loud, and take off your shoes in public.
- Or, just read this silly list one more time!
[ Table of Contents | Back | Next Page | Top ]
This page is written and maintained by Steve Krause. © Steve Krause. All rights reserved. For more information, email email@example.com.
This page was last updated on June 27, 1998.