Appendix I

Handling Stress!!!

1. Jam 29 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your VISA.
3. Close all loans with conditions outstanding remaining.
4. When someone tells you to "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
5. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
6. Forget Weight Watchers and send yourself a Candy gram.
7. Make a list of "things to do" that you've already done.
8. Dance naked in front of your dog.
9. Put on your child's clothes backwards, and send him or her off to school as if nothing were wrong.
10. Retaliate your tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
11. Order mortgage insurance on the day of closing.
12. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
13. Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
14. Go shopping, buy everything, sweat in it, and return it the next day.
15. Buy a year's subscription to Sleazoid Weekly and send it to your manager's spouse.
16. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
17. Drive to work in reverse.
18. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of The Flintstones during that important meeting.
19. Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a frozen steel guardrail.
20. Polish your car with earwax.
21. Read the dictionary upside down, and look for secret messages.
22. Start a nasty rumor, and see if you can recognize it when it gets back to you.
23. Bill you doctor for the time you spent in his or her waiting room.
24. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
25. Lie on your back eating celery, using your belly button as a salt dipper.
26. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
27. Make up a language, and then ask people for directions.
28. Walk your kids to school, talk loud, and take off your shoes in public.
29. Or, just read this silly list one more time!

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This page was last updated on June 27, 1998.