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You Know it's a Bad Day When...

  1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2. You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.
  3. You You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on HOLD.
  4. You see the "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your office.
  5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party but there aren't any.
  7. You put on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of the city.
  8. The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.
  9. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
  10. You wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.
  11. Your horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck, as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  12. The timer on your coffee maker is set to brew at 8:00 a.m. and you forgot to put the coffee pot in the dispenser.
  13. Your auburn hair color turns purple overnight.