Bumper Stickers

• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
• Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• One the hand, you have different fingers.
• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
• We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
• Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
• Born free... taxed to death.
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
• There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
• I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
• So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
• Jesus may love you, but he won't respect you in the morning.
• Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
• I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
• If, a two letter word for futility
• I don't care, I don't have to.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
• Horn broken, watch for finger.
• All men are idiots ... I married their king.
• The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
• My kid had sex with your honor student.
• Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.
• Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
• This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.
• Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
• IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
• Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
• Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an ahole.
• Life's a buffet... so eat me!
• I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
• Jesus paid for our sins... now let's get our money's worth.
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
• Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Keep honking, I'm reloading.
• Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• Hang up and drive.
• Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
• I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
• Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
• Lord save me from your followers.
• Meat is yummy!
• Mean people rule!
• Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
• Born again pagan.
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
• There's too much youth, how about a fountain of smart.
• P.E.T.A.: People Eating Tasty Animals
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
• Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
• Wink, I'll do the rest!
• Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• When there's a will, I want to be in it!
• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
• I love animals...they're delicious.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
• Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
• Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left.
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I souport publik edekasion
• hooket on foniks werked fur me
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.