S.KRAUSE

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Kindergarten Teacher:

To get to the other side.

Plato:

For the greater good.

Aristotle:

It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Karl Marx:

It was an historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary:

Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Ronald Reagan:

I forget.

Captain James T. Kirk:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Hippocrates:

Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Fox Mulder:

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Machiavelli:

The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of the crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Oliver Stone:

The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Einstein:

Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

The chicken did not cross the road--it transcended it.

Colonel Sanders:

I missed one?

Pat Buchanan:

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Louis Farrakhan:

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Bill Gates:

I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

Bill Clinton:

I don't recall.

The Bible:

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Freud:

The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A. Police Department:

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon:

The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Saddam Hussein:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Dr. Seuss:

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed it, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway:

To die. In the rain.

Buddha:

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Jerry Seinfeld:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Grandpa:

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Andersen Consulting:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.

Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.