S.KRAUSE

Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:

Crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:

Doesn't have to cross the road; you simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken:

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Delphi Chicken:

Is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

G3-300 MHz Chicken:

Crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken.

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken:

Crossed 4.9999947 times.

Iomega Chicken:

Should have backed up before crossing.

Java Chicken:

The server will download a chicklet to the other side.

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Microsoft(tm) Chicken:

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OOP Chicken:

Doesn't need to cross the road; it just sends a message.

OS/2 Chicken:

Crossed the road in style years ago, but was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VisualBasic Chicken:

USHighways! (aChicken)

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Windows 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Windows 98 Chicken:

As expected, caused a crash while crossing.