S.KRAUSE

You just might be a Graduate Student if...

• you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
• your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
• you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
• you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
• you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
• you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
• everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
• you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
• you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
• there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
• you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
• you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
• you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
• you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
• you consider all papers to be works in progress.
• professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
• you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
• you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
• you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
• you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
• you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
• you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
• you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
• you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
• you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
• you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".