How to tell if you're in Love, Lust, or Marriage

• LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
  LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
  MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.
• LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
  LUST - all other times.
  MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
• LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
  LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
  MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
• LOVE - when you share everything you own.
  LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
  MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
• LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
  LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
  MARRIAGE - what's a climax?
• LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Good day."
  LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex.
  MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your child's game starts.
• LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
  LUST - when all you write is your phone number.
  MARRIAGE - when all you write is checks.
• LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
  LUST - when you couldn't give a shit.
  MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV.
• LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling..."
  LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
  MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent.
• LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
  LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
  MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.
• LOVE - when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
  LUST - when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
  MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.
• LOVE - when nobody else matters.
  LUST - when nobody else knows.
  MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.