S.KRAUSE

Top 17 Changes to Microsoft if it were based in Alabama

1. Number one product would hence forth be known as "Winders 95".
2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and some duct tape.
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choices of "Ahh-right","Naw" or"Git" instead of "yes" "No" or "Cancel".
5. Instead of Ta-Da!, the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.
7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player, you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Achey Breaky Heart".
9. Powerpoint would hence forth be named "ParPawnt".
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".
11. Winders 95 Logo would incorporate the confederate flag.
12. Instead of "VP's", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".
13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
14. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.
15. "Well, the first thing you know, ole Bill's a billionaire.."
16. Flight Simulator would be replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
17. Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (aka Bubba Gates)