S.KRAUSE

Our Leaders

Quayle, Gingrich, and Packwood are traveling in a car together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the Land of Oz. They decide to go see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich says,"I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Packwood says, "Where's Dorothy?"

Dole was asked the presidential underwear question: boxers or briefs? After a moment's reflection, he answered, "Depends....."

(Seen on a bumper sticker:)
"IF DOLE IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION."

(Seen on another bumper sticker:)
"CLINTON HAPPENS"

Q.

Bob and Elizabeth Dole are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?

A.

The nation.

Q.

What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex?

A.

"Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President" Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. So, now what do you think?" The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!" "Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll take those mirrors out right away!"

If a couple in Arkansas get married, move to Washington, then move back to Arkansas, are they still brother and sister?