Sex, melk og rock’n’roll!
So says Wig Wam.
Dschingis Khan, a Ralph Siegel construction, competed in the Eurovision competition in 1979 with “Moskau.” Evidently they planned on having it played at the Olympics the next year in Moscow, but the boycott of said Olympic Games by western nation turned out to be a problem.
No less disco-flavored or kitschy was the Frank Farian creation Boney M., known for a number of bad songs, including but not limited to “Rasputin”—bad can be catchy, however, and “Rasputin,” like “Moskau,” still retains some charms.
It is interesting to see both of these songs as predecessors of Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus,” another historical song.
The lyrics are absurd, but it is interesting to see to what lengths the writer went to achieve a rhyme. Meter was not too important, for as one hears in the performance, the rhythm of the music could make up for it by distorting line-length.
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire
RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia’s greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
Time has not improved the quality of the Eurovision competition. This year we have such wonderful entries as the following:
- Norway: Wig Wam—I see them as ABBA meets Queen meets Van Halen (meets A-Ha). The white top hat is an inversion/perversion of Guns n’ Roses; but Mr. Dark Hair and Headband is Freddy Mercury’s deranged distant cousin. Let us love their names: Teeny (guitar), Glam (vocals), Sporty (drums) and Flash (bass). They are the second-coming of the Spice Girls.
- Croatia: Boris Novkoviċ—he looks like Mr. Bean’s younger croatian brother
- Bosnia & Herzegovina: Feminnem—they do not look like they are from Michigan or have anything to do with 8 Mile ... but they do look like they could be from California. Give me t.A.T.u instead.
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she’d heard the things he’d done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.
Russia is a strange place ... I have always wanted to take the Trans-Siberian Railway and visit Lake Baikal, but in addition to a big Müller Device (Rimbaldi artifact with a big floating red ball of liquid) over a Russian city in recent episodes of Alias (not to mention the three Derevko sisters!), I was a bit worried. Then I reminded myself that Alias is fiction ... in reality it is a great, safe place to go. And then lakes disappear. This is the sort of thing one cannot make up.
To quote an old lady/resident: “I thought the Americans had got here.”
But the ladies begged “Don’t you try to do it, please”
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they’re not to blame
“Come to visit us” they kept demanding
And he really came
RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia’s greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said “I feel fine”
I re-validated the steve section of this website earlier today. I removed the last vestiges of formatting tables and replaced them with divs and such.
Sebastien passed on a link to the Sketchbook of Russ Stutler.
If you need to include non-ASCII characters in your HTML, I recommend the Table of Unicode and HTML/IPA Extensions. I find it useful for characters that appear in Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian and elsewhere. Other characters I use on a frequent basis are:
- ‘—smart left single quote
- ’—smart right single quote
- “—smart left double quote
- ”—smart right double quote
- –—n-dash
- ——m-dash
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn’t quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia’s greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead
(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...
Best wishes to Richard and Amy, who got married today.
Thanks to Jen Jenkins for the Eurovision links, some commentary, and the link about the lake.
—May 21 2005