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411 for information, 911 for emergencies, 419 for money

Time is money, knowledge is power, knowing is half the battle. Other codes I enjoy include:

It's time for more spam and the eyes have it.

A soccerball contact lens -- see how the close-up captures the smeared makeup, the clumping and details of the eyelashes, the texture of the skin. The contact lens is almost beside the point
taken from CNN.com

With regard to the Mahmudiyah incident and the rape and murder of Abeer Qassim Hamza disagreement and confusion reigned for quite a until it was determined that she was 14—not 25 or so as claimed in some reports, though in some circles it is still a matter of debate (and after all, raping and murdering is okay if the victim is 25 and asked for it). In most early reports one notes a clinical dehumanization that took place: she was referred to as an “Iraqi female” ... not a woman or girl, but just a gendered thing. Now that the consensus is that she is/was 14, the debate is: do we call her a girl or a woman, and the decision to refer to her as a young woman has angered and outraged many. Sarah Elizabeth Richards states that “language matters, and journalists should take care to be precise when they can—or at least explain why when they're not.” That should be followed up with: language can matter, precision is not a moral-ethical imperative in all situations, and it has not been demonstrated that it in any way really matters here.

Freaky red eyes ... contact lenses -- contrasted with the soccerball contact lens shot, this one does a cloudy background but focused face, smooth, skin, and color-coordinated features (hair, lips, skin, eyes) that dehumanize her (she did it to herself)  and give her a zombie-vampire-android look
taken from CNN.com

In letters about the debate some felt that a 14 year old is always a girl (if female, that is), and a 14 year old male would obviously be a boy, and some cited the ways in which laws are written (specifically laws about child/teen sexual abuse, statutory rape, etc.), which refer to those ages 16 and under, sometimes 17 and under or even 18 as children. My favorite conclusion drawn from this is that if she is/was a child, then by extension that makes those who raped her pedophiles. Others went the other direction, claiming that of course a 14 year old is a young woman; simple googling and observations of how teens are referred to in media and pop culture would substantiate this. Yet others, on both sides of the issue, referred to personal experiences as to how they felt at that age and being called a young woman, etc. Back to Sarah Elizabeth Richards statement, which I quoted with little context above: forget language matters ... context matters. Even more, there is little inductive, deductive, or abductive value to this argument, but what is interesting is the range of rhetorical tools and devices on display.

And it is sad when that overshadows a human tragedy.

Let us contrast this briefly with something as sad but in a different and materialist way: How to pack for college without hiring an 18-wheeler. Three of us drove to California across the Nevada desert (almost running out of gas at one point) in 1993 to bring me to Claremont. One car, all my stuff. The room was partially furnished (bed, desk, chair). Four years later two of use drove to the Midwest across plains and hills and through national parks, but again, one (slightly) smaller car sufficed, though we went shopping after arrival for a small stereo, microwave, and some dishes, pots, pans, and silverware. I know the headline exaggerates, but I would have to mention that even when I had a room of furniture (bed, desk, lamps, many bookcases, bike, and so on and so forth) nothing more than a 14' truck was used, and a 10' one would have done the trick with tighter packing, and in those instances years and years of packratting had caught up with me.

But my real reason for posting the link and thus linking it to the previous section has to do with the rhetoric of the article: it is for parents, and parents have children, even when those children are 17, 18, and 19, and so all these college-age adults are children in this article. The text does carry it a bit to extremes, or perhaps it is the type of parents to whom this is addressed who carry it too far, for the advice “Give your child a voice in the process” is only necessary as a corrective measure when dealing with controlling parents (or immature, indecisive teens, perhaps).

From: "MEGA JACKPOT" <mandg_20002@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 05 Jul 2006 14:50:57 +0200

89 New Fetter Lane London,EC4A 1AG U.K
Tel/Fax: + 44-870-134-4244

MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTERY PROMOTIONS, EMAIL AWARD PROMO: UNITED KINGDOM Finally today, we announce the winners of the MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO WINNINGS PROGRAMS held on 17th MAY 2006. Your company or your personal e-mail address, attached to winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100, With serial number 647489, consequently won in the Tenth lottery category.

You are therefore been approved for lump sums pay out of 1,200,000.00 POUNDS in cash Credited to file REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100, this is from total prize money of GBP 30,000,000,00 POUNDS, shared among the Twenty five (25) international winners in this category.

All participants were selected through our Microsoft computer ballot system drawn form 42,000 Names, 6,000 names from each continent, as part of International "E-MAIL" Promotions Program, for our prominent MS WORD user all over the world, and for the Continues use of E-mail. Your fund (certified Cashiers cheque) has been insured with your REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100. To claim your winning prize, you must first contact the claims department in south African by email for Processing and remittance of your prize money to you.

The claims processor is:
Name: Smith Kenneth
e-mail: smith_kenneth26@yahoo.com
Phone: 27-82478-7296

Do email the above email addresses, all at once. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and winning numbers in all correspondences with your claims officer.

1. FULL NAMES: _______________________________________________________
2. NATIONALITY: _______________________________________________________
3. DATE OF BIRTH ________________________________________
4. SEX: _________________________
5. MARITAL STATUS: _____________________________________
6. CONTACT ADDRESS: _____________________________________________
7. TELEPHONE NUMBER: ___________________
8. OCCUPATION: _________________________________
9. WINNING E-MAIL ADDRESS:________________________________
10.REF/ BATCH NUMBERS:_________________________________________
11.TOTAL AMOUNT WON:_________________________________________

Upon receipt of the duly requested data, i'll send you the contact information of the payment office so you can proceed with effecting the release of your claim in anyway you deem fit, summit back immediately
Sincerely, Secretary
Mrs. Maurrine Diane H.

NOTE: Do not reply this mail. You are to contact your claims officer immediately by email. Or call the promotion director MR. TINZO PAOLO on Tel/Fax: + 44-870-134-4244 to confirm your winnings.

I am glad that the Microsoft Mega Jackpot Lottery Promotions folks think so highly of me. Alas, it appears it is or was for “prominent MS WORD user [sic]” and as someone who does not use MS Word I would feel quite guilty if I attempted to collect my “WINNING PRIZE,” not that I want to turn down “1,200,000.00 POUNDS in Cash”—for poor little me that is no chump change, let me tell you.

This is an amazingly international competition, sporting 42,000 names, “6,000 names from each continent”—who ever knew that Antarctica had that many people living there?

Alas, I fear I am too late, for the email is dated July 5, and requests that I email “Smith Kenneth” “all at once,” which I have not done.

Shame on me.

If I were to take these money making opportunities more seriously I am certain that I would be on sounder financial footing. More solid fiscal ground.

In my microcosm of electronic communication the near light speed of electrons does not limit me to one language, character set, continent, or scam. The post in postmodern is for the post office, postal service, and going postal.

From: angela.reyes@virgilio.it
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 11:03 pm
Subject: cher ami

Cher ami

Mon nom est madame ANGELA REYES, je suis une citoyenne philippienne à part entière et la veuve du défunt ministre des finances philippien qui est mort le 15 mai 2002.

Mon mari est tombé gravement malade est a donc été conduit en Europe pour des soins intensifs, mais plus tard il est décédé des suites de sa maladie et a été enterré. J'ai donc hérité de mon défunt mari la somme de 12.000.000 de dollars américains (douze millions de dollars américains).

Cet argent, je l'ai caché dans une mallette métallique et déposé au sein d'une compagnie de finance et de sécurité ici en philippine. Cependant, ayant insisté auprès de la compagnie de finance et de sécurité pour que ma mallette soit gardée avec un maximum de sécurité de tel sorte que personne ni même une organisation gouvernementale philippienne ne puisse prendre connaissance de son existence, jusqu'à ce que je sois prête à la retirer, alors la dite compagnie pour répondre à mon exigence maximum de sécurité à utilisé des moyens diplomatiques pour envoyer ma mallette hors des philippines et précisément à la maison mère de leur compagnie en côte d'ivoire en Afrique de l'ouest ou ma mallette se trouve donc discrètement gardée dans le coffre fort de la compagnie.

Ce dépôt a été fait et codé dans le cadre d'un arrangement secret selon lequel ma mallette contient uniquement des biens de famille. Cela signifie donc que la compagnie elle même ne connaît pas le contenu exact de la mallette qui pour plus de sécurité a été envoyée en côte d'ivoire sous une assurance diplomatique et déclarée comme contenant des biens de famille. Aussi, la raison principale pour laquelle je vous envoie ce courrier est qu'aujourd'hui, n'ayant plus confiance en mon entourage ici en philippine et la côte d'ivoire étant un pays en proie à la guerre, je me retrouve dans une impasse et je voudrais que vous m'aidiez discrètement à emmener ma mallette d'argent à une adresse beaucoup plus discrète et stable dans votre pays ou je pourrai commencer à investir.

Si vous voulez sincèrement m'aider, nous discuterons au préalable du pourcentage que je vous donnerai sur la somme totale se trouvant dans la mallette. En fait, depuis la mort de mon mari, ses frères m'ont chassée de la maison familiale et ont essayé à plusieurs reprises de porté atteinte à ma vie pensant qu'a ma mort tous les documents légaux des bie ns que possédaient mon mari leur reviendraient de plein droit. Grâce à la notoriété et aux relatons influentes que possèdent les frères de mon mari, ils ont réussi à m'arracher toutes les propriétés de mon défunt mari ainsi que tous ses biens matériels. Mais ils ne se sont pas arrêtés la et m'ont obligée à leur révéler tous les comptes bancaires de mon défunt mari en menaçant à nouveau ma vie. Je leur est donc donner ces informations et ils ont confisqués tous les comptes bancaires de feu mon mari. Je leur est tout révéler sauf l'existence de ce dépôt que j'ai fait au sein de la compagnie de finance et de sécurité à Abidjan en côte d'ivoire car ceci représente tout mon secret espoir caché. La famille de mon défunt mari n'est donc pas informé de l'existence de ce dépôt que j'ai fait au sein de la compagnie de sécurité et elle ne le saura jamais.

Cependant, j'ai toujours peur des frères de mon mari car ils continuent à m'espionner et vont jusqu'à écouter mes conversations. C'e st pourquoi j'ai décidé de chercher quelqu'un de confiance à l'extérieur des philippines qui m'aidera à retirer la mallette de la compagnie de finance et de sécurité et placer discrètement l'argent dans son compte à l'étranger pour un investissement futur.

Je vous demande de considérer ma situation qui est celle d'une veuve et de venir à mon aide car aujourd'hui à part cette mallette, je n'ai plus d'argent et ma situation financière est plus que difficile(ma situation financière est à zéro).

Et ma demande d'aide est d'autant plus urgente que je paye 100 dollars par jour à cette compagnie de sécurité comme frais de stockage et de sécurité de ma mallette.

Si vous désirez m'aider, je vous ferez parvenir dans mon prochain email, les coordonnées de la compagnie de securité afin que vous les contactiez pour l'envoie immédiat de cette mallette vers vous pour la securiser.

Je vous remercie infiniment pour votre coopération et j'attends de vos nouvelles à mon adresse email privée (angela_reyes16@yahoo.fr) pour la conclusion de cette affaire.

Bien à vous

Delia, with whom I shared a room at the Black Sea in 2003, learned English the international way—by way of American pop music. The internet way is my new method of learning languages and brushing up on old ones, such as French. Whatever the language, a 419 is always the same, and refreshingly international in its own way. Linear B for beginners, the Rosetta Stone of bytes, bits, and modern languages. The source email address is Italian, the destination French. The text is French and invokes the Ivory Coast, but notice the Philippines are along for a ride, too. Who needs soldier deaths revenged in an Israeli-Palestinian-Lebanese conflict or an Iraq war-for-oil when this email already has it all: death, war, and money?

It is a pop-culture literary tome.

Joss Whedon would or should be proud.

—July 13 2006